First, I would like to describe, how this chapter was created. For traveling into the White Kingdom, I often used a special form of regression, although the memory of the angels world awoke during meditations and the technique of connected breathing (rebirthing). This time, the lengthily regression of conscious dreaming connected the memory of previous contacts with angels and helped with attaining consciousness of new details from my present life. Let the angels of openness and communication be with us, so that the writing, that is a miracle to some, shall resound truthfully in the realm of our world.

Although I was more aware of angelic beings during my regression, I cannot go pass all the other beings, that are present during the incarnation of a human soul. With Him, who is now Alan, and who helps with my incarnation, I watch the world below. We float above the environment, where, I shall receive my first earthly teachings in the next few years. We rejoice the descent into denser matter together with troops of angels that surround us. Everything is rosy from this point of view. I bathe in the security of these loving creatures, the world below us is just as beautiful, lights are twinkling all over, as I descend, with the assistance of the angels of speed and power and of course my personal guide, into the body of the person, that I shall call Mother and will, for a while take care of my body as well. With this I would like to explain, that the ray structure of my soul and personality (the soul as a personality is on the fourth ray, that in esoteric teachings represents the Ray of beauty and harmony), upheld my most intimate inclination towards the angel kingdom. That is why others may forgive themselves, if angels were not, are or will not be present in their lives, as they have been with me. There is an infinite number of parallel worlds. The viewpoint from the angel kingdom enables me to know, that dwelling in any world is in utmost harmony with the nature of the person, that enters into it an ones most intimate decision, that is in all cases connected to ones ray structure.

Therefore, even if you never see angels in the way that I may see them, even if you never step into such direct communication with them as is given to me (especially so I can now present this White Kingdom to you), I am certain, that each one of you is capable to, beyond the spoken, of sensing their unconditional love.

Let me return to the first descent into my body that occurred sometime during the fourth month of my mothers pregnancy.

The consciousness is not yet fixed but floats freely. It seems as if I am now closer to earth. When I attached myself to the womb I obtained the anchor that firmly attaches me to the center of the Earth. This task shall from now on be taken over by my newly formed root center. Before birth, all this time (four and a half months) I am here where I shall later live. I am getting to know the environment and liaison with beings with which I shall be living with. I am assisted by the angels of communication, synthesis, acceptance to denser vibrations even the angel of light is always present. This can be seen when my mother's aura shines more brightly. There is more light within her.

I bathe in complete trust in everything that is happening. The flow. All qualities are pure. From the level I am observing from at this moment it is difficult to tell the difference between an angel and a being of light, that we humans are later. The difference is in the consciousness, that the soul has gathers through incarnations, that also gives it a certain weight, but consciousness is present. The angelic world has a lot less consciousness of itself.

I see how angels help Mother during labor. The angel of courage shines through her as the angel of birth and power dance their dance with her. She is about to give birth to her first child, but she is not afraid of the labor, that is why she is very open to upper levels of consciousness. Joy is combined with the angel of anticipation.

I see the happenings in the local church of the village where I shall later live and in the hospital that is 20 km away. A thought occurs to me that the assembly in the church has to do with Alan's sixth ray soul, that has to do with rituals and church ceremonies. It seems, that the earthly part of birth is taking place in the hospital, whilst the spiritual takes place in church. It seems as if the consciousness has now been divided. In hospital, the angel of birth is magnificent and I am born easily, attached to angelic threads of tenderness and love. During birth the energy of my guardian angel, as I name him, strengthens. In Mother's body he was inseparably connected to the guardian angel of my mother and I witnessed the communication of one energy, that is within two beings cast into one being. The guardian angel individualizes at birth and combines the rest of the energies among themselves, by spinning threads around me. I feel ever so safe in a white fluffy cloud.

There is an enormous angel in the church, that is kneeling down. I see Mr. Vicar, (my later name for the clergyman, that was my first spiritual teacher, but in this case he also played the loving role of a grandfather) how he calls the angels with a ritual. The energies flow more powerfully in the church and the angels, that are permanent inhabitants of this sacred place have come to life and energetically experienced. The vicar plays the role of the mediator of both worlds, to strengthen my contact with the angel kingdom. Apparently, my guardian angel is growing.

I see the christening, that is actually only a continuation of the strengthening of my contact with my guardian angel. Nothing else is new.

While I am still motionless I see, that I have a lot of peace. The angel of peace is strong, so I am very, very content. My arrival into a body is so gentle, I slowly become accustomed to it. Gentleness surrounds me. I do not feel like walking at all. I like to be still. I relish in peace. I am starting to play. This is still a play with the angel of play and joy. I see what an amusement I am to my parents if I respond to what they find is necessary for a being to respond to at a certain stage. They encourage me to toddle and crawl along the floor. To me it is a game. My steps are uncertain and I seek support. I can feel the weight of the physical body more now. A certain expectation of how I am supposed to be occurs. I fee the influence of modern psychology through my upbringing, my peace is disturbed for the first time. And still life is mere joy. My guardian angel takes on a new role as I learn to walk and discover the world. It is interesting, that the world does not interest me much, I am not an explorer of the physical world. I much more enjoy exploring the world as I travel outside my body and I learn as the knowledge transfers from the dreaming double into the physical. That is why I don't have unpleasant experiences with fire or falling to the floor.

I notice a small mental body that I receive from the environment.

From the angelic view, this is seem as when the angel of education entered my life. From the view of a year old child this view is still ever so pretty. It bears so little difference to the angel world. Even the vaccinations against chicken pox and other diseases, that represent an invasion of a more unrefined energy into the body, did me no harm. The body is still very acceptable. As a matter of fact, we can still have very strong connections with the angelic world at this time. I had a wonderful doctor that was very subtle. This was a village doctor, that came to our home whenever I was ill. She used to know how to play this game with a child: first she said well done to the little chicks, that had just hatched from their eggs in the same room as I had just spent a feverish day and after that she began with the more responsible part of her visit. I see how important it is for her to know the child and its family. A family doctor could in that manner bring forth a lot of the energy of healing from the higher levels. by letting the angel of healing to act with greater force. Gentleness and love are already sufficient. Even if the mind is burdened with the weight of the matter.

I see the inner decisions for illness. They look like inner blocks of energy that cause the illness. The guardian angel does not interfere, for my decision is primer and he respects it. An angel never intervenes if you so not wish it to. It does not remove the block, but it could, because this is a simple task for an angel. With all illnesses right up to the age of six, the angels of healing and peace are with me.

With the growth of my personality I become less and less acceptable. I find it difficult to communicate with children my age while the communication with higher levels is still pure. At this time I am particularly close to water creatures, with which I communicate a lot. I see, that the love for water was passed to me from my mother who is a Pisces and more at home in water than on the ground. I find myself in a seaside resort for bronchial and asthmatic diseases where the angel of healing lingers above a carefully groomed nature. I feel good when I feel it together with the angel of compassion, but still I feel the first pain of separation. There is not enough of joyous play. It seems as if illness is something terrible, dark and solemn. From the world of angels I see that people could take each illness more easily. We can be grateful that we can learn in such a manner in which we just lie still and meditate. If we are nailed to our beds it is easier for us to travel into other worlds and if you are in a seaside resort you are with other children with which you play, have fun and at the same time healing takes pace through games.

I see how the angel of light gradually grew smaller and smaller from birth onwards and all of a sudden it was no longer there by me and I never noticed when it left. It is gone. First, the white energy switches off then violet, every time there is less and less of the higher levels and every time there is more and more of the lower ones. I see how I was saved by the guardian angel in the resort. My blue-white rubber ring started leaking air as I was swimming in the water close to the beach. There was less and less air and I was slowly slipping under water, gulping large mouthfuls and choking on it, that was in harmony with the patterns that I already had in the period around my sixth year of age and that caused the lung disease. It was interesting to watch the communication between the angels and people. An angel cannot get hold of you and drag you out of the water on its own. That is impossible for it. The guardian angel calls those, that can. And those are, for example, very strong water creatures. We know the stories of shipwrecked sailors saved by mermaids or some other water creatures. In my case it was a teacher that appeared, sitting far away from me on the beach. I saw, how the angel pointed her attention in my direction and how she jumped in the water. An angel rescues you indirectly. Will after that, I just had to get on with it and learn to swim. I received an experience: It doesn't really matter if I go under for a while, someone always takes care of me. There is always someone to help me and I can surrender to the water even more. I used the holiday, that hurt me a lot, because I was separated from the people I was used to, to learn how to swim. The angel of adventure awoke while I was drowning.

From then on, I trusted the water completely and rampaged with the water spirit, that them became my ally. When I was curing excema, I bathed my hands in water with a drop of vinegar and it helped. I see myself at the swimming pools behind high swings, that let me fly again. I pushed myself so high that I could see over the two and a half meter metal rods of the swings. I opened myself to these energies and in front of me appeared an enormous angel of light. I am so small, but he stands before me as tall as a mountain. I see him clearly in body, just as the rest of the people around me and then I throw myself backwards into the pool, bang my head on the edge of the pool and say to myself:' I am no longer worthy of this light and beauty.'

Yes, while I was living in the vicarage, I was taught that there is sin if you are such and such. I already have a mental structure of have being sinned when I was playing my first sexual games with my friends and my grandmother caught us.

It is sin for anything like that to be happening at the vicarage. And I thought, that I had sinned. I had smashed my head then, and I see, that my guardian angel can not act through such strong structures. What could he had done?

School. Fortunately, angels of education and wisdom exist, for I could never connect to the mental structure of school as an educational institution. Numbers were the most distant thing in the world. One of the most difficult things was to learn the times tables and to count to a hundred. My mother was a teacher and she always expected me to learn quickly, but I wasn't at all interested. If there was a school where I could choose the subjects I definitely would not choose mathematics. I carried to school in a special bag huge wooden rods for mathematics, that represented the whole rigideness of the educational system. The poetry of the angelic world was completely lost when they stuck the heaviest of leather satchels that you can think of on my shoulders. It seemed to me, that when you start going to school, you begin to carry burdens. The more burdens you carry, the less you fly, play and have fun. That is how it was year after year.

Well in that period I then came closer to my personal guide. Mother could not understand, that mathematics is an incomprehensible world to me. At last, the angel of education whispered to her, to try with walnuts. I have only the spirit of the walnut to thank, for its wisdom and resilient intent for helping to build a machine in my mental body, that I later successfully used at the mathematical competitions where I took all the first prizes in the later years of my school. I remember a competition where it was not important, who came first. Everybody that completed a certain amount of exercises won a badge. When I first got the piece of paper with the exercises, I at first understood none of them. The competition lasted three hours and after two hours I had only completed one out of five. A friend from a higher year at school, that I always co-operated with very well, was sitting beside me. Even the mathematical competition was at the time just a game. I only asked her about a small little detail and I moved in space and time. With her simple answer, she gave me the key to everything. I see the transfer of energy, that the angels can arrange from one being to another, when the communication of support and assistance starts to flow. In a flash all the questions were correctly answered and I came home beaming with a silver medal. Mathematical competitions were something most magical to me and the results were stunning. Without the angels I most certainly would not have been a wonder child. I learnt to listen to my personal guide, so I didn't calculate mentally but just indirectly, telepathically, following the question and the writing down of the result. But you know, otherwise angels do not co-operate on competitions. Wherever competitiveness, a target, or superiority appear, the angelic energy cannot communicate with our world.

Once I was punished for pushing in a queue and I had to sit in a corner. Right then mother stepped into the classroom and there was no end to the shame. As a rebellion against the school system, public punishment and all other stupidities I stood up in the middle of the class and said what I had to say. Everyone listened in silence the speech inspired by the angel of wisdom. When the personality is hurt its defenses fall and often the doors into the other world open. That is why people come into contact with angels at serious accidents or psychological shocks.

I remember, that I didn't know of the usual way of learning all the way until college. I learnt with the assistance of etheric beings. It was easiest at learning languages. English sounded more familiar than Slovene. I read the text twice and knew it by heart. I was always bored at teats. I answer all the questions in a few minutes then helped a friend and later I was drawn into the game by the fairy tales that I was allowed to pull out of the teachers desk drawer. I had always known English and I think I can thank the angelic beings that transferred the memory of the soul with the assistance of the personal guide.

I am becoming so serious, but I am still much happier than the others. It seems, that others were even more repressed. At collage, I erased, with the assistance of a spiritual guide, certain unnecessary facts, that would only burden my mind. Everything that was necessary for the final exams was rut aside, all the rest was erased.

In this period the angel of love enters my life. when I meet my first big love as a balance to a very serious life. With tenderness and love I fly again on the wings of the spirit of love, that appears at the loving relationship of two pure hearts.

Later I try to commit suicide, completely disappointed by the world, parents, that expect too much, and the repressive school system. I stand in the edge of the balcony and wish to sink into the Earth when the guardian angel taps me on the shoulder. He shows himself in all his beauty and grace. At marginal moments like this one the door into the other world always opened. It is known that childhood games are often linked with an intentionally chosen danger that enables leaps into other worlds - running across closed railway ramps while just escaping the fast train. The communication with the angel was there for a short while. I once again saw, how this world can be infinitely beautiful and different from the one I had known. Slowly I crawled back onto the balcony.

In school there were no longer any pure qualities among us. They had disappeared. They were replaced by competitiveness, gloating and other characteristics of the ego.

The first breaking point that enabled a better contact with the White Kingdom, happened when I decided to change my university course, against the wishes of the authority that funded me, that represented the whole social system, and parents and of course the machine of the mind, that I had created in the years of compulsory education. First the violet energies of joy and laughter entered my life. I was the happiest creature in Earth when I could once again learn the foreign languages. I remember laughing for hours at a time, whilst plating amusing and informative games. At literature the Masters of the Word, that had contact with the angel world, again interfaced me to old friends. Literature, especially poetry had already represented the contact with the White Kingdom if I tried to forget all the weight of the compulsory reading, that was full of dark description of life. During my language studies I revealed to Toscana for a while, where the angel energies are very much present. The city spirits are amazingly beautiful, the landscape angels are magnificent and in the old churches, where the spirit had been conserved, the old friendship awoke. In the class, where we were united with the angels of brotherhood and friendship, sometimes even wisdom and bound into a colorful wreath of generations and nations, they again awoke the child within. We laughed and plated, sixty year old grandmothers had fun with punkers, nationalities mixed among themselves, the big helped the small, all the competitiveness disappeared. Joy had filled my soul and marked it forever.

Again the lost angel of purpose entered my life. I knew again. During my pregnancy I spent a lot of time in this would. Whilst expecting the child, love was awakening. But the entrance onto this world remained concealed before uninvited eyes. Sometimes the personality fell and then the doors into the angelic worlds opened. I always experienced the absurdity of this worlds and the beauty of the other. This separateness and my inner battle were horrific. I remember that many poets used to describe the contact with the angel as something horrific and terrible. I think that only the separateness between the two worlds is terrible. The harshness of one and the endless grace of the other and the insurmountable separateness between them. Even the transformation that is brought on by the new contact with the angel would is terrible for the personality and the ego.

In the following period I spend a great deal of time in other parallel worlds. Disappointment over spirituality brings me to another direct contact with an angel. The illusion, that people, that deal with the spiritual openly communicate with these worlds falls apart quite soon.

I meet Tili, who has a lot of contact with the angel world. We invoke the angels in meditation, with songs and contact them. The personality transforms, becomes more and more subtle alongside the changes in the way of life (the change of diet is especially important). With a greater subtleties the contacts with the angels can occur again without greater shocks to the personality. Meditation is also important. First of all I connected with the spiritual guides, that are somewhat closer to the earthly would.

During meditations in nature, at waterfalls and in the mountains, where the angels are magnificent, I remember with love Krishnamurti, that heard their singing and saw them dancing among the high hills and later wrote sown the melody. I remember that once, when I was walking on the Slovene peaks (I still lived an ordinary life at the time), I moved through space and time. I had direct contact with the angels, but had insufficient inner strength to be conscious of the contact and keep it as I was descending into the valley. The memory came a lot later and then the mountain trip seemed as a fairy tale. And I did not remember what happened to me on the physical level.

The contact with the angels, as a difference from the contact that I had in my childhood, was now conscious. When the world in childhood is still magically beautiful, the contact means very little. But when you experience the dreadfulness of the world you come to appreciate it better. On a workshop I meet Celia, that was a transmitter of angelic energies to Earth with the assistance of angel cards, that were created in Findhorn in Scotland. I begin with the conscious purification of individual angelic qualities and work an each for months at a time. On workshops for therapists I transmit the knowledge to individuals, that have a deep contact with angels but are not aware of it. Later fifty two angel pictures are created and I publish my own angel cards. In the last year the separateness despairs and the border no longer exists. The border, that I create in the text is three, because I look through the eyes of the reader. I am one with the angel energies, but I would not like anyone to feel bad because of this. From the would where I now dwell only positive energies are transmitted.